In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
