i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Vodka?
Forever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
