I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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