i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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