if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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