New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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