I want to have your abortion
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
