He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
