This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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