Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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