I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
