I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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