Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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