you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
