If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
