She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
