My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize