Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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