I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
