We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
