Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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