just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
