She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
