you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
lol hangovers are for mortals.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
