idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
