hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
