Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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