I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
