So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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