as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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