I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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