Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
