i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
