He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
