Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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