Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
