Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
