that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize