i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
