dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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