i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
