if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
