my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
