Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
