Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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