so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
