Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
