if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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