i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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