i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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