Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
