Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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