I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
