'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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