After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
