The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
