Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
