So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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