she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
