I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
