I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
