wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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