i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
